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The incredible hulk movie#

He didn’t know Tim Roth also has the greensicles.

I mean let's be real here, Bruce basically kicked a dude to death with his big Hulk foot.

First, he has no hat and then decides to run through a building made of windows.

Great at apparently walking from Brazil to Virginia but terrible at most other things.

Your boyfriend is a military target on the run from your dad, WHY ARE YOU TAKING HIS HAT OFF, BETTY? Admittedly it’s a terrible disguise but it’s all he had.

I mean in terms of weaponry, turning people into big green mall walkers doesn’t seem especially practical.

The incredible hulk movie#

Wow, this movie actually kind of is Splash but bad though.“It was as though she and that knife were merged.” I mean… yeah… that’s basically what stabbing someone is.It’s very Splash meets Stranger Things meets none of those things because those are good and this is, you know, not that. Bruce is floating in a big pool of anger and science.

He scienced too hard on account of the whip-its and his hands became jelly flubber. Nick Nolte did a gamma whip-it and has jelly flubber hands now because of science.Bruce just got shot in the leg with one of those fuzzy darts and you know what he probably would have been fine if he’d been wearing those durable Hulk pants instead of shorts and black socks like some kind of dweeb.And now it’s a naked sweaty Eric Bana movie and I was fully onboard and then he started to strangle Jennifer Connelly and I am all the way back off-board.HULK JUST JAMMED HIS FIST DOWN A DOG’S THROAT AND THEN PUNCH-EXPLODED IT.Because, you see, that movie features a very prolonged scene of our hero beating the absolute sh*t out of a bunch of dogs.It happened quickly though because this Bruce-turning-into-Hulk montage is kind of Event Horizon-y. And mustaches are definitely problematic. What this movie is telling me is that dads are bad.He tells Bruce his name is not Bruce Krenzler which is great because I had no idea Bruce’s name was Bruce Krenzler and now I know that it isn’t. Nick Nolte is visiting Bruce Gamma Bana in the hospital with his murder dogs including that murder poodle, with whom he shares a hairstyle.It's kale but with cancer.” - Superhero movies. I have no trouble imagining that Nick Nolte also pokes frogs. David Banner Mustache Man grows up to be Nick Nolte who is kind of just playing Nick Nolte.Bruce is daydreaming and possibly flashbacking about selfies coming to life and in that daydream-flashback he’s wearing a mock turtleneck and within that daydream is a Jennifer Connelly flashback-actual dream wherein future Bruce chokes a baby Jennifer Connelly and now it’s all over and a poodle tried to bite Bruce and I cannot overstate both how much and how little is happening in this film.